Quick to fall in love, not so quick to fall out of it... Yeah, that's me! I develop crushes just about everyday. It's become kind of a habit, but I like the way it feels to be smitten. What can I say? I'm a sucker for romance. And in those moments I just let my mind wander through all kinds of 'what if' scenario's. What if I glanced like that? What if I smiled like that? I think so much, that by the time I collected all my thoughts, I'd already be in a divorce settlement with my latest crush. And when my fantasy ends, I let go of the infatuation. No strings attached, they're all here for my private enjoyment. I thinking that maybe I should record all these scenario's and make a book with short stories, haha! Maybe I will someday, when I'm feeling creative...
But today is about closure. As I mentioned, I fall in love in a heartbeat, wear my heart on my sleeve. And for some time I've been having a hard time letting go of a certain someone. Today was the hardest day of them all. It was monday, no more world cup or friends to keep me busy. Nope, just me, my thoughts and a playlist full of depressing music... Ouch. I was about to give up on today and go to bed just rolling around thinking: "Why is this happening"! But suddenly I had a moment of clarity! I've been so worked up about why it was that it did not work out between me and [insert name] that I forgot about all the things that DID work between us. The fact that I found a good friend who taught me a lot about life was completely clouded by my pride and my confusion about the fact that I couldn't make it work anymore in the end. I became angry and cold and lost hope. But in that moment I suddenly found it in myself to accept one fact. 'What's done is done and can't be undone'. It's a new chapter, but this time it's not one out of my scenario's! This is real, so it's time to move on. If I don't, I won't be able to open myself up to anyone else and I'll lose a friend at the same time. I'm going to prove to myself and everybody who told me that it was impossible to start a friendship with someone you cared about in a romantic way, that it is possible! I can take not being the one now, I can't take being no one at all...
This is me, signing off ;) *and listening to Gwen Stefani's 'Cool' ^^*
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